I did a Good Job

Alfie Kohn wrote a powerful piece about praise entitled 5 Reasons To Stop Saying “Good Job.” PLEASE read it here: http://www.alfiekohn.org/article/five-reasons-stop-saying-good-job/

As I sat through College Night at my daughter’s high school and listened to a pair of high school counselors address a group of GROWN UP parents I realized Kohn’s advice applies even more when teachers (or any adults) are addressing adults.

Maybe I should write something called 4 More Reasons Not To Say Good Job - Especially To Adults

1.     It sounds…RIDICULOUS

This is magnified by the use of a sing-songy voice, the same one we use addressing infants, toddlers, and puppies.

2.     It is patronizing 

I cannot speak to how the other adults in the room were feeling but I felt as though I was being treated like a two-year-old or maybe a puppy. The incessant “Good job” truly resembled a “good doggy” pat on the head. I began wondering if there would be treats…

3.     It is distracting

I tried keeping track of how many times it was uttered but after a while I wondered what it was we were being praised for. What had we done so well? Showed up? Sat in our seats? Listened? Asked questions? WHAT? At least if we are going to give praise we should make sure the recipient knows what it is for. This is the definition of “specific praise.”

4.     It is overused

Anything that we say over and over eventually starts to sound like the teacher in the old Peanuts television specials – WAH, WAH, WAH,WAH, WAAAAH. When overused the affirmation loses its authenticity  - this is the very definition of empty praise.

Let’s eradicate the empty praise of “Good job.”