As I sat through College Night at my daughter’s high school
and listened to a pair of high school counselors address a group of GROWN UP
parents I realized Kohn’s advice applies even more when teachers (or any
adults) are addressing adults.
Maybe I should write something called 4 More Reasons Not To Say Good Job - Especially To Adults
1.
It sounds…RIDICULOUS
This is magnified by the use of a sing-songy voice, the same one we use
addressing infants, toddlers, and puppies.
2.
It is patronizing
I cannot speak to how the other adults in the room were feeling but I
felt as though I was being treated like a two-year-old or maybe a puppy. The
incessant “Good job” truly resembled a “good doggy” pat on the head. I began
wondering if there would be treats…
3.
It is distracting
I tried keeping track of how many
times it was uttered but after a while I wondered what it was we were being
praised for. What had we done so well? Showed up? Sat in our seats? Listened?
Asked questions? WHAT? At least if
we are going to give praise we should make sure the recipient knows what it is
for. This is the definition of “specific praise.”
4.
It is overused
Anything that we say over and over
eventually starts to sound like the teacher in the old Peanuts television
specials – WAH, WAH, WAH,WAH, WAAAAH. When overused the affirmation loses its
authenticity - this is the very
definition of empty praise.
Let’s eradicate the empty praise of “Good job.”
